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So I Finally Got a Hydrocolonic (+video)

hydrocolonic

So, I finally got a hydrocolonic, also known as simply a colonic or hydro colon therapy. One would think living and working in the wellness world would have me on my millionth session, but to be honest it has never been one of my “wellness weapons.”

When it comes to “detox” I’ve always went with 10-14 day green juice fasts but since being back in the states, my routine has slowed down so I decided to give a colonic a try. (Plus one session is said to be equivalent to about 20 regular bowel movements and who doesn’t love multi-tasking?)

I headed to one of my go-to spots for all things wellness, The Springs LA. In addition to yoga, meditation and a kick ass plant-based menu the DTLA spot offers hydrocolonic services as well.

The Springs LA on the hydrocolonic:

A gravity-based colonic (closed system) is a holistic treatment that is the equivalent of giving your colon a deep cleansing bath. When accumulated waste and poisons are removed from your body its overall function significantly improves along with its capacity to heal from within.

Over time, clients experience a strengthening of their immune system and therefore a lower incidence of illness. Clients successfully address a wide variety of health ailments and a long list of afflictions ranging from the common cold, infertility, constipation, depression/anxiety, and migraines, to more serious life-threatening diseases such as tumors and cancer.

The treatments last about 45 – 60 minutes

Pre-colonic

The pre-session protocol that The Springs LA provided was easy to follow, mostly drinking lots of green juices, which is something I already do. (More on how I eat here). Strengthening the immune system is ideal during this time and fresh green juices do just that.

Colon cleansing success is dependent on pre-existing colon health and how much water you consume on a daily basis.

With the exception of some body aches from a too ambitious workout, my health was fine. The night before treatment was tough because I was traveling, away from my kitchen, where anything can go. Although the fish tacos on the menu were screaming my name, I settled on a salad…and a bit of red wine.

The Road to Indigestion:

Processed cereals, eggs, bagels/breads, animal protein, soda, or last night’s left over Lasagna!

This will create excessive gas in your treatment.

letting sh!t go…

…as my practitioner Christy massaged my abdomen, helping to press the poop out, she kept cooing on about how good I was doing, which was basically laying there and telling bad jokes. At one point I felt like I was in some kind of race and perhaps maybe I was. Apparently the initial “fill up” phase can be quite uncomfortable and folks usually make it to around 8 minutes before its time to start releasing the water back out. Never to be outdone I attempted to go for 10 minutes and tapped out at 7 for the most unlikely of reasons…

(Ladies, hear me), it started to feel JUST like menstrual cramps.

Not the entire time and again, your mileage may vary. I’d say 15% of the session I encountered some gas that lead to a massive passing of “encrusted fecal matter” which if you are interested, can be seen floating through the tube.

Oddly enough, no poop smell.

Nevertheless, I couldn’t shake the period association and wanted the session to be over as soon as possible. I’m convinced that if I never suffered from menstrual cramps, my experience would have been better.

The mind/body connection is powerful, indeed.


Now (perhaps depending on how sexually liberated you are, LOL) will determine how you accept… the spec-ulum.

To be honest it wasn’t as intrusive as I thought it was going to be, it doesn’t go too far in at all, no biggie.

Once I was “hooked up” I could barely feel the gentle rinse, with the exception of those periodical period-like cramps, of course. I actually hesitated to tell a guy friend who is interested in a session… because any man that’s been around a woman with serious cramps is likely to be turned off from the process (if they weren’t already.)

Christy never left my side and did a great job of distracting me with chit chat and my time was over before I knew it. The abdominal massages were great and after I was “unhooked” all I wanted to do was poop on my own. She assured me this was natural and as soon as she left the room I made my way over to the toilet equipped with the “squatty potty” and let loose, literally.

Definitely my most satisfying sh!t to date.

Post Hydroclonic: What they say

From The Springs LA:

What to Drink And/Or Eat After Your Colonic Appointment • Liquid: Tensui Water, Coconut Water, and/or Cold Pressed Vegetable Juices

SOLID: Always start your meal with a salad, if you prefer to eat some cooked fare, you can follow with cooked vegetables and/or a starch. (yam, wild rice, quinoa, etc.)

Foods To Reduce: • Red meat, cheese, white flour (i.e.: pastries, cakes, white bread, etc), and pasta/starches mixed with tomato sauce (i.e.: pizza/lasagna). • All processed food. Foods with more than a handful of ingredients on the label

Beverages to Stay Clear Of: • Alcohol and anything carbonated (IE: Soda, Seltzer, Sparkling water = Gas).

Post Hydrocolonic: What I did

After taking the weirdest smelling “toxic” poop of my life I headed out to The Spring’s plant-based restaurant on the property. If I was hungry this was THE best place to be post- hydrocolonic. Although everything looked delicious, I wasn’t actually hungry until I got home where I made my creamy sesame salad, black bean soup, dried fruit strips, chocolate and drank a Peach-Pear La Croix, the latter of which was specifically on the banned list but I took a chance on the gas and everything passed 🙂

For the rest of the week I kept it light; breakfast smoothies, green salads etc. but by the weekend I added my comfort dish, breaded eggplant marinara into the mix.

My Final Say

It’s hard to tell. It’s understood that to get the best benefits more than one hydrocolonic session is required, one session is not likely to completely empty the colon. Three initial treatments over the course of a couple weeks is suggested. Because my diet and lifestyle habits are pretty “clean” already, it’s hard to have drastic results after the first session but I definitely felt lighter in the days following, plus my stomach was flatter.

Although I don’t see myself getting hydrocolonics on a regular basis (some people get them every few weeks), I do see them as an excellent tool to begin to incorporate with my fasting regimen. I plan on doing at least one during my fast.

When I started fasting in 2005, one of the first things that I read was that the digestive system began at the tongue and that’s why fasting was more effective. Comparisons aside, the seasonal ritual always gives me a mental, spiritual and creative cleansing that is unmatched.

Just like fasting (Jesus, Buddah, Mohammed, etc.) the hydrocolonic has been around forever. The ancient Egyptians used colonics as a cleansing ritual to help eliminate bad toxins in the body. I find this interesting since our current world is a million times more “toxic” but I digress, I’m sure they had their reasons.

I think the hydrocolonic it is a great modality and for many people an effective one. When it comes to gut health and colon cleansing there are many paths and most importantly if your body is in good health it does most of the work for you (I am not a doctor, this is just common sense).

If you are transitioning to a more plant based diet or having digestive issues I would definitely suggest a set of hydrocolonic sessions to help along your process and especially if you don’t practice fasting regularly this is a good alternative.

It’s a lot of crap out here and we can use all the help we need to clean it up.

So pick your (poop) path.

If you’re in the LA area, be sure to book your hydrocolonic session with The Springs LA here, I worked with the lovely Christy Park.

 

 

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